I had a clever title for this post, but I forgot it

Well, baby pottying efforts have officially begun again. I went on hiatus for a while because the holiday season, Brice's crazy overloaded school semester, and morning sickness have been kicking my butt. But morning sickness is all but gone, the holidays and birthdays are over (for the moment), and Brice's schedule this semester is much more manageable. The trouble is, Alaina is not into it. No matter. We'll just keep offering "potty-tunities" (opportunities to go potty) until we get somewhere with it. I think our foundation is such that she'll jump right back into it when she's ready and in the meantime, I just have to remind her regularly that there is a better way than peeing and pooping all over herself. On the upside, she does occasionally sign "potty," though it's after the fact. And she's not asking to be changed because we have a different sign for that. So I know she's still somewhat aware, just resistant to actually going when the potty is offered. But between her newfound ability to sign and her heightened awareness of everything, I don't think it will be long. I think one or two coincidental catches will motivate her to work with me on this and we'll still potentially be on target for my 18-months-and-potty-trained goal. Which would be especially helpful since baby #4 is due right around that time. And, yes, I will be trying this all again with baby #4. Despite the long and arduous road, it's been ever so worth it (so far)!

A couple of really good days!

This past weekend I ran out of diapers. I thought, "Well, Alaina's been really responsive to my cues lately; maybe I should just force myself to go with cloth for a while." So I didn't but any. All day Saturday Alaina did great! She went pee every time I took her and she didn't pee in the diaper ONCE! She did poop in it twice though. But two messy diapers for an entire day is darn good! I also didn't feel like I was constantly taking her or super panicky either. I think she went every time I took her and I don't think I took her without her going more than two or three times. It was awesome! Her diaper in the night stayed dry all the way through to her early morning (around 2am I think?) nursing, but it was wet when she woke up in the morning. She kept her cloth diaper dry all morning Sunday and I found a lingering disposable for her to wear to church. The rest of the day she didn't wet or dirty her diaper! This is SO COOL!

Monday was a different story entirely. I couldn't catch a thing! I was busy with taking the kids to school (Raelin missed the bus--so you see what kind of a day we were off to) and doing something else that distracted me to the point of not taking Alaina potty in a timely fashion. I decided after changing a couple of poopy cloth diapers that I was just not into the idea of not having disposables when I wanted them. There are just days where Alaina's not into it and there are days when I'm not into it. And that needs to just be okay. So I bought some diapers. But I was certainly excited to see what it would take to really be good at this! I would really love to have a day or two a week where we just do cloth and lots of pottying investment. It's so worth it!

I can tell that Alaina is totally aware of her body's need to eliminate. Every time I take her, I can tell whether she has to go or not. If she has to go, she looks down at her crotch waiting for the pee or poop to come. But if she doesn't have to go, she looks around the room, plays with the faucet if I'm peeing her in the sink, or pulls the potty Tupperware out from under her. Clearly, anyone that says a child doesn't know they have to go before the age of 2 or that their sphincter muscles have to be mature to begin potty training (around the age of 2 also) has never seen a child that has been helped to maintain that awareness through baby pottying! Alaina's not even 1 year old and she totally knows if she needs to go or not and she is capable of holding it. I can tell because sometimes she goes the instant I hold her over the pot like she's just really got to go. But other times, she has to think about it and concentrate to get it out. Obviously, she has all kinds of control over it. It now baffles me that "experts" dismiss this diaper free idea as "mommy training" suitable only for helicopter parents. I don't even know Alaina's cues. I just offer her the potty from time to time when it seems like it's been a while. Alaina's the one who knows how to use her muscles to release her pee or poop when she's offered a more suitable place than a diaper. And she's very good at indicating when she doesn't have to go. Now all that's lacking is an actual word or sign from her to tell me she has to go. When she's consistently doing that, I'd say she's potty trained. Some would say that only when the child can go through the potty process alone they are potty trained. To me, if the child is the one initiating it, then they're potty trained. It's so funny to me how night and day these two forms of potty training are to me. I hate with every fiber of my being the Western way of potty training, but I love, love, love the diaper free way! SO much better than changing a two year old's butt! Or cleaning it up off the floor, play pen, walls, etc. as has been the case for me on more occasions than I care to count. (You see why I hate Western potty training!)

The other interesting thing that I've been noticing lately as Alaina's I-have-to-poop cues are disappearing from my radar is that she will only get out one little piece poop if she goes in a diaper. But if I catch her in time to take her to the potty, she drops a huge load! After getting out a little bit, it doesn't work to take her potty. The urgency has passed and she doesn't go. But if I catch her in time, it will be the only poop of the day. Otherwise, I end up changing 5-7 diapers with just a smidge of poop in them.

Another blessing of baby pottying is that Alaina is the first of my babies to not have constipation problems! And it isn't because she isn't prone to them. I've seen that she has the propensity for it. I'm certain that holding her in a healthier position as you do with EC is making all the difference. The only way to treat the other kids' constipation problems was to load them up with juice. I give Alaina a cup of juice maybe once every third week. Maybe. I'm not so good on the liquid thing. She's starting to let me know though. She fusses and then stares intently at my cup. Still, clearly her lack of constipation is not because I am vigilant about getting juice in her. Which I'm glad of because that's a lot of sugar for a baby. I chalk her healthier bowel movements up to baby pottying 100%.

All in all, I'd say our efforts with baby pottying have been a huge success and I look forward to the day when Alaina is younger than 2 years old and entirely potty trained as compared to my other kids whom we started potty training around the age of 2. How cool will that be!?

One change that I would make if I had this to do again would be to delay the start a bit. I don't think it made much of a difference to start as early as I did. Though, it was probably the only way to go for me because my tendency would have been to procrastinate because I was too busy, always planning to do it when things settled down (which they never would) and then we would be caught in the Western potty trap (now that sounds like a happy place to be, doesn't it? Ha!). Knowing what I know now (meaning that I know it's worth it and I know that it does work and therefore I'd be less inclined to procrastinate), I would start around the time the baby could sit up or 6 months, whichever came first. By that age, the baby is really going to respond to the positive reinforcement that comes in the form of an excited mommy or daddy and they have some muscle tone and are easier to hold. They're also still young enough not to be diaper trained yet, so you don't have to undo anything. However, a baby younger than this will still respond to cues, so it might be worth it for some to start younger. Also if I could easily read the baby's cues, I'd start younger. But since I can't read my baby's cues, I feel like the first 4 or maybe even 6 months were not really all that important. They weren't a waste of time by any means, since I learned a ton but I don't think that there were fundamental in us being successful with it. I think somewhere between 4 and 6 months things started to move along a little better. I personally would save myself the time investment from the first few months and invested more starting around 5 months with Alaina when she started sitting up. Though, if you remember, she went on potty strike right then, so maybe I'd have started a little earlier or a little later. But most babies don't learn to crawl and sit and cut teeth all at the same time. So maybe I should say closer to 6 months things started moving along better. It's hard to tell since it's been a gradual development. But even though I haven't met my diaper free by 9 months old goal (she's not signing very much yet), I'm happy with where we are and how things are going. It's nice to know that she'll go just about any time I take her and that if I want to invest the time (and she's amiable to it as well) then we can get through an entire day with very few misses! There's hope for diaper free well before 2 at least! I guess that's part of the reason I'd start later. If it really takes until she's 18 months or so to be potty trained, then I've invested a year and a half in this program. That's 6 months longer than the current average for Western potty training. I'd like the time investment to be the same, but with a lot less stress and A LOT less damage to the relationship. I also think that if the time investment were comparable either way you did it, more people would be willing to do the baby pottying way. So if I hadn't started until about 6 months and then she was potty trained by 18 months, the potty training investment would be a year just like Western potty training. I think Alaina can be potty trained before 18 months, but that's really going to depend on her temperament. Will she be the type that's willing to say "Mommy, potty" even though she's busy playing? Or will she prefer to just play, play, play and wet herself. I think that the more we use cloth, the more she'll be inclined to articulate her need to go. I noticed this weekend that she was very upset if she was left in a wet diaper (it only happened a couple of times, but she was super fussy (for Alaina) until I put her in a dry diaper. Especially if it was her super soggy morning diaper.

Okay, okay, I think that's enough for tonight. Brice is gone at school late tonight and I am out of sewing projects. Can you believe it!?

Awesome progress!

The past week or so has been really cool! I've been missing a lot of poop (that's not the cool part) and she's been pooping way more often than she used to for some reason (also not the cool part). Maybe because she's eating so much solid food. BUT (and here's the cool part) we've been having LOTS of pee catches! She's responding to my cues really well and really consistently. She also seems to recognize that it's better to go in the pot than in the diaper if she has the opportunity. Just about every single time I offer her the pot, she pees! We still catch some poops but not as many as we were. Maybe she just wants to work on one thing at a time? It's also really interesting to see her awareness of going potty. If I offer her the potty and she has to go, I can tell right away because she looks down between her legs, waiting and watching for it. If she doesn't have to go, she looks at herself in the mirror or looks around the room. I still don't take her often enough for her to being peeing predominantly in the potty, but when I have time to take her and I think of it, she goes every time! This is so very much better than it was just a week or so ago! It's really exciting and gives me hope that she's NOT getting diaper trained. And that will make it SOOOO much easier to get her into underwear full time. So despite the fact that she's almost 9 months (my goal for being diaper-free) and we still aren't super proficient at this, I'm really happy with where things are at the last little while and I hope that I can maintain the foundation we've build and add to it.

Yesterday I kept track of how often she went and had her diaper free or in cloth diapers for pretty much the whole day. In the morning she went every half-hour except for a longer stretch during her nap. In the afternoon, she only went once every two or three hours until we went up the canyon for family night and I put her in a disposable diaper for the rest of the evening. It was a good way to learn her timing and I hope to spend a few more days diaper free or in cloth this week and see if we can really get moving on this. She's so close to signing (she has two or three things she's just starting to sign) that I think we could do really well if I learn her elimination schedule better AND she starts to sign. We'll be golden!

Making cloth diapers

So, I decided I wanted to switch over to cloth diapers full time (or nearly full time) in order to help Alaina stay in tune with when she goes pee and doesn't loose that sensation of needing to go. I figure that since I'm catching about 95% of poops, it really isn't a big deal to use cloth full time (EC is SO much cleaner! Hence it's other name of Natual Infant Hygiene). I only catch about 5% of her pees at this point (although, the past few days, those percentages have been reversed for some reason). The other benefit of cloth for me is that I am better at monitoring and paying attention when she's in cloth. I check more often and I take her more often. I have some cloth diapers that my sister-in-law let me borrow, but they are big and bulky and don't really fit under Alaina's clothes. They're great for at home though. The other problem with them is that the leg holes are too big for Alaina's skinny little legs, so if I miss a poop it will just leak out the sides. Not my favorite. I guess I could sew some elastic into the legs of them, but I haven't asked my sis-in-law if it's okay with her for me to alter her diapers. So, I decided to try making my own. I also thought that if I made my own, I could make them in a way where I could see when she was wet by making them just the right thickness to hold one pee and making them out of colored cloth that would be darker when wet. It's been working out famously! I've toyed with the pattern until I have something that I really like. I like the fit and best of all I use old t-shirts so they cost virtually nothing to make! Any of you that know me well know how much I love cheap and free! I just buy some elastic and some velcro and I use whatever old shirts I have (there are always plenty of those around out of Brice's work clothes pile). They are so cute! So here's my tutorial:

Here are your basic materials: some velcro, elastic, a template, and an old t-shirt or two (depending on the size).Here's a close up of my template. If you click on it, you'll be able to read the numbers. Alaina is 8 1/2 months old and she weighs about 14 or 15 pounds. Also, my template is lacking a seam allowance (I always forget that part) so I have to make sure to add a bit as I trace it onto the t-shirt. Place the template over the part of the shirt with the logo or picture you want on the bum.

Cut through both layers of t-shirt.

Fold it in half to make sure it's even.

Use the part you've already cut out to trace the shape onto another t-shirt (or another part of the same one if it's big enough) for the inner layers.

Cut that out (through both layers) so you have four diaper-shaped t-shirt cutouts.

Use the scraps to cut out 6-8 rectangles of t-shirt to use for soakers. I made mine about 4 inches by 8 inches.

Split them in half so you sew 3 or 4 to one inner diaper layer and 3 or 4 to the other inner diaper layer (it's much easier on my sewing machine than sewing through all 9 layers!)

I usually just sew around the edge of the soakers, but some of my other diapers have bunched a bit in the laundry so I thought I'd try sewing down the middle and across the width in two spots.

Then sew a fuzzy strip of the velcro to the front of the outermost layer of the diaper (I forgot to do this at the right time when I made this diaper, but it's a lot easier if you do it before this piece is sewn to anything else.). Make sure you leave enough room for your seam allowance (I should have left a little more room on this one).

Then lay your layers with an inner first, then the piece with the side you want to show on the bum facing up, then the piece that will be against the baby's bottom (face-down if there you have a side you want facing out), then the other inner layer in top. It doesn't matter which way the soakers are facing, but I face the bottom one down and the top one up so the soakers will be the innermost layers.

Start at the front flared out edge and sew around the edge of the diaper (flared bottom edge to leg to tab to back to other tab to other leg) to the other flared out edge (leave the bottom length un-sewn so you can turn it right side out), adding in elastic along the legs and back at you go. I think the back elastic piece is optional as you will have the velcro to adjust the size as well. I just sew a little piece of elastic across the back and longer ones for the leg pieces, cutting them off at the right length as I am sewing. I run the elastic from where the tabs end and the bum begins down to about where the soakers end. So I guess I just start and end at the level of the soakers maybe a little beyond in each direction. I've just been sewing right into the elastic as I sew my seam, stretching the elastic to capacity as I go.

Turn it right side out

and top stitch around the whole diaper, tucking the opening along the bottom under and sewing it closed. (Here's where I realized I'd forgotten the velcro on the front. Oops!) Then sew the hook side of the velcro to the tabs with a fuzzy square next to it so you can close the tabs when you wash the diaper (that way it won't catch and snag on everything else in the laundry)

And you're done! Pretty simple and SO CUTE!

Here are some others I've made:


The Peanut one:

And the Volcom one:

I love the fit. They're so little and snug! If you're familiar with gDiapers, I wanted a fit like that. I think I got it! I've made a few others as well, but I don't have pictures of them. I didn't like the style or fit quite as much as I do on these ones. Also, the peanut one has exposed velcro tabs and I like them better backed by fabric. The black fabric also isn't quite as good for seeing when she's wet. Oh, the other change I would make is that I would trim down the flares that go at her tummy. There is more than necessary for wrapping around her waist at this point. Especially since the tabs come so far around the front. Well, that's it! If any of you decide to give it a try, I'd love to see pictures and hear about any improvements you come up with. I'm also not the greatest seamstress, so if you know a better way to sew this (particularly the elastic) please let me know!

Update

Things are going well with Alaina and our efforts at being diaper free. I wish they were better, but for that, I'd have to spend more time on it. And as I'm sure everyone else experiences, time is always short. Now that she's eating some solids, her poop signals are easier to catch. My other two kids had constipation problems when they started solids, which was part of my motivation for baby pottying. It's supposed to help with that. Anyway, Alaina hasn't had any constipation problems so far, but her poop is harder so she has to bear down more to get it out. It's easier to notice when she has to go. So we've had more poop catches lately. Which I must say is very nice. I LOVE not having to change poopy diapers. The last two that I had to change were because she was in the car seat the first time and taking a nap the second. Other than that, I haven't changed poop in about two weeks. And she's pooping more than she used to, so that means we've caught about 4 or 5 poops in that amount of time. I feel pretty confident with poop these days. I feel like if we have a miss it's because I wasn't with her, but if I am with her, we will always catch it. I do still take her more often than she needs to go because I miss-read her cues, but I'd rather that than miss because I wasn't taking her often enough.

Pee is still going okay. I wish it was better but I think time is the issue. We are still making progress so I should be glad for that. I still can't find her cues but she's responding to mine. I haven't done very well at just taking her fairly frequently like I set goals to do. Maybe I need to revamp those goals. But at least she's trying to go every time I take her. I can see her muscles working trying to get some out, but lots of the time she's just empty. She's so ready to start signing, so maybe that will help our cause. If she can sign to me that she has to pee and if there's enough of a foundation built that she would prefer to go in the pot, then we might just be in luck to have her diaper free not too long from now.

I'm a little discouraged that it isn't going better than it is, but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself given the fact that I have two other kids and lots of housework and other things to balance. I think maybe the best thing for me to do would be to get a new book about it (any suggestions?). It might help me to get excited about it again to get some new ideas . Which is not to say that I'm not always way excited when she poops or pees in the pot and not in the diaper! That's still exciting every time. Alaina gets excited too. I cheer for her and she smiles and smiles and wants to look at it. Gross.

Can it be?!

Is the potty strike really at an end!? Today is going so much better! During the potty strike (which has lasted several weeks), I only caught two or three poops and NO pees. Not a single one. No matter how often I took her, she would wait until I had to leave the room without her. She wouldn't pee any time I was holding her or even in the same room, let alone when I made the cue sound and held her over the pot. Then, yesterday I was changing her and thought I'd just give it a try like I have been at least once a day through the potty strike and lo and behold, she peed! I held her over the bathroom sink and I think she likes looking at herself in the mirror. I cheered for her and clapped and she smiled and smiled. Then she stayed dry (in her cloth diaper) until she woke up at 10:00 or 11:00 to eat. Today, I took her after my morning started to settle down and she went pee almost right away! I put her in a cloth diaper and she played on the floor for a while until I took her again, and after a few seconds she went pee! Two pee catches in one day! Hallelujah! It's a been a while since that's happened. Right now she's in a cloth diaper taking a nap. She usually stays dry during her naps, so we'll see if she'll pee in the pot when she wakes up.

I made a little scrunchie that goes around Alaina's waist to hold the cloth diaper on and allow for super easy access when taking her potty. There are a couple of websites where you can buy them, but you just sew a tube and slide some elastic through and close it up. Pretty simple and really effective. Though, not exactly cute. When we get better at this I want to make some fleece unders (that's what Ryker, my 4 year old, calls underwear--I love it!). They are really cute and they hold one pee miss (just in case) without soaking whatever the baby is sitting on. But you can probably still feel that they are wet like you can through a cloth diaper. I'll let you know how it works whenever I get to that.

I've also been noticing that, like her pooping habits, she just doesn't go pee that often. That really lengthens out our learning curve because we have fewer opportunities for me to teach her my cue sound and get a response and fewer opportunities for me to observe her cues. And if we miss, it's going to be a while before we get another chance. If she went more often, there would be lots of opportunities for us to learn together and a higher likelihood of success and reinforcement. But I'm happy that we are making progress again. And if she's anything like Raelin, she just needed a break and after the break, she'll have it down pat. I've started using the ASL sign for potty as well, and at the rate her motor skills have been developing, I wouldn't be surprised if she starts telling me with the sign when she has to go in the very near future. She's crawling all over the place and, as of today, she can pull herself to standing. I had to lower the matress level in her crib today after I found her standing up holding on to the rails. She's only 6 and half months old!

Potty Strike!!!

Alaina has been on a potty strike for the past 4-5 days. Our first real hiccup. I even spent one day where I had her in cloth diapers for the whole day and I watched her really close. I took her potty very diligently and frequently. But she would always wait until I had to put her down to go do something else and then pee. She hasn't been pooing much at all during this strike either. Maybe once, I think. But it might have actually been no poop at all for 4-5 days. That was normal for her a few months ago so I'm not worried, but she's been pooping more frequently lately. But seriously, no matter how often I take her pee, she will hold it and hold it until the moment I put her down and turn my back. I'm sure other ECers (elimination communication is the most common term so most people refer to themselves as ECers, but I prefer baby pottying) have encountered this before and I think I even know why she's doing it, so hopefully it will pass. Just when she was getting so good at responding to my "go pee" cue, she decides she needs a break. Bummer. I think it's because she's learned to crawl and sit up and she's got one tooth and is cutting a second one. I might go on a potty strike if I had all that to deal with too. So hopefully it will pass and we can pick up where we left off. To any of you other baby pottying folks out there, if you find this blog and have had this experience, maybe you can give me some info about how long I should expect this strike to last and what I can do to get us back on track.